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About Varied / Artist ★ Alyssa ★17/Female/United States Groups :iconthe-vocaloid-fanclub: The-Vocaloid-Fanclub
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★ Alyssa ★
Artist | Varied
United States
and i will learn by studying the lessons in my dreams.
My icon was gifted to me by Furrit


35 deviations
it is april.
i ask you:

"why are you taking care of something
that is trying to die?"

you think i am talking about houseplants
and move closer to me in bed.
in an instant you turn miles of space into inches
i didn't know could be traveled. 

you take your shirt off, and suddenly
i have never seen a naked body before.
i am a new thing when you touch me.
i was a new thing and i am not anymore.

it is june now.
this bed is empty,
no miles left to cross.

i learn everyday how wrong people are when they say
you can't break things that are already broken;
my imperfect DNA bleating
into the mistakes i've made,
eyes closed,
head burnt,

the kind of numb
that doesn't change with passing months.
like a caged bird, 
i cannot migrate.

even things that are dying stay with us.
a stillborn is still born

and i can't stop performing autopsies
on those weeks before it ended,
searching for what killed us

it is july now.
it is winter all the time.
love letter/suicide note
my body is a false dichotomy,
neither yours nor his,
but is assumed
to be
i.    i have fled
      every dimension
      that reminds me of your skin
      hoping this will lead me back

      but i didn't leave footprints
      on the miles of treaded space between;
      my head full of solar systems.

      no one knows where my mind
      has been

ii.    kissing you is the closest i will ever come to space travel.
       i know you are impossible to reach in this lifetime

      but i reach my hands out, ad infinitum,
      because if it’s true that you are god
      and i can see you from my telescope
      in the galaxy andromeda--

      then when i look at you from here
      what i am really seeing is you 2.5 million
      years ago & i know i am doomed to always be
      behind you.

       even this is enough.

iii.    we always follow something, and whether god
        is a bad habit or a comet’s tail,
        i can’t say.

iv.      i say, my spine is on another earth.
         this is the hardest kind of gravity.

        i say that in lying
        all this time,
        i have really told the truth
        about what kind of person
        i am

v.       would you mind telling me
         if i was this hopeless 2.5 million years ago?

vi.     i say i cannot believe in gravity,
        because i have always felt like
        the earth has been pushing me

        i say my hands have forgotten how to hold.
        you say, like asteroids keeping each other in orbit
        they will relearn.
poetry is fucking nature.
poetry is the "oh shit i'm on a bus and have an idea, but don't have a pen."
poetry is the "oh shit i'm on a bus and have a pen, but don't have an idea."

poetry is not your fucking motivational speech.
poetry is not your depression.
poetry is not a luxury.
poetry is not a story. it's the embodiment, the abstraction of a story.
poetry is not poetry unless it can be nothing else.
your poetry is not poetry unless the universe whispers over your shoulder, "this must be"

if your poetry is a canal for your experiences but not anyone or anything else's, you're doing it wrong.


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Add a Comment:
Magnetic-Roses Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Student Photographer
Thanks for the faves. =D
svanced Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015
Thanks for the fav :)
AndrewJJaspersen Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for adding quick portrait 2 to your favorites.
birdkinq Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
here's my valentine card for you

For Alyssa by birdkinq
Clockchat Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
May you be having an excellent birthday, you prolific artist!
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015   General Artist
Thank you! It certainly has been so far!
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student General Artist
Climbing in rooftops is sooooooo fun. I've made it some pretty wacky places, but since youtube didn't exist when I last really tried, I didn't kill myself reaching out of my skill level
Braxton-T-Rutledge Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014
saigonka Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014
thank you so much for watch!! *w*
BlueStanza Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for adding my poem to your collection! I appreciate the support. :)
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