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January 2
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The boy called “spineless” has a backbone, lost in the rubble
of Hiroshima, his unfettered hands pulling at maps
and photographs. With worn and radioactive identity, he knows
that the world is a veteran, sick of empathy,
and can look massacre in the eye without blinking.
Hastily the people will cleanse themselves
of alpha particles and corpses they did not touch.
History classrooms will suck the marrow of tragedy, unafflicted,
passing Hiroshima as another word in a textbook.
Still, this rubble-spined boy keeps firm the cast the world removed.
He croons and mumbles on reverence, seeming all too unfelt
by mankind. To the ungrieving populace he writes the postscript of war
on the back of his father’s portrait:
“Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it but we just don’t listen?”

sometimes i think i know people i've never met.

for theWrittenRevolution: is the flow of the poem effective for its message? does the last sentence fit the rest of the poem well and make sense? 

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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-08
1945 in sepia by BittersweetObsession ( Suggested by doughboycafe and Featured by neurotype )
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That last line is brilliance. Fantastic work and wording all around! :)
Reply
:iconmorning-star-42:
Morning-Star-42 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
“Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it but we just don’t listen?”

Relevant for everyone, always.
Reply
:iconcpt-cupcake-art:
CPT-CUPCAKE-art Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   Traditional Artist
This is a beautifully written piece that really makes me think twice about Hiroshima
My favorite line: “Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it but we just don’t listen?” 
Keep writing :)
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
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:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Mmmmmm I love the concept - and the flow is very, very lovely. And YES the last lines fit so very well!
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:iconzazzine:
Zazzine Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, last sentence makes sense.
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:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   General Artist
I'm glad, thank you. :)
Reply
:icon5ninjacat:
5NinjaCat Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
A very well-deserved DD! This will be going into my favorites.
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:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:icon5ninjacat:
5NinjaCat Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
You're welcome!
Reply
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