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The boy called “spineless” has a backbone
lost in the rubble of Hiroshima, his unfettered hands
pulling at maps and photographs.
With worn and radioactive identity, he knows
that the world is a veteran, sick of empathy
and can look massacre in the eye without blinking.
Hastily, people will cleanse themselves
of alpha particles and corpses
they did not touch.
History classrooms will suck the marrow of tragedy
unafflicted, passing Nagasaki
as another word in a textbook,
pointing at pictures, saying
That’s what you get
when you mess with America.

He does not blame them.
They have not seen for themselves
the crimson cloud inhaling his old home,
the city-turned-carcass,
the cave of his mother’s mouth
swallowing the stolen decades.
They did not touch the ashes imprinted
on buildings, the black silhouettes of people
whose bodies burned into them;
did not put his father’s jacket
into the back closet
one last time.
Still, this rubble-spined boy
keeps firm the cast the world removed.
Across seventy years
and eight thousand miles,
(five inches on his map)
morning breaks
like a soldier's last wineglass:
a city wakes,
a sun still rises, time hauls forward
and bodies do not detonate
anymore.
This nuclear child
of war’s relentless womb:
he croons and mumbles on reverence,
seeming all too unfelt.
To an ungrieving populace
he writes the postscript of war
on the back of his father’s portrait:
“Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it
but we just don’t listen?”

sometimes i think i know people i've never met.

for theWrittenRevolution: is the flow of the poem effective for its message? does the last sentence fit the rest of the poem well and make sense? 

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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-08
1945 in sepia by BittersweetObsession ( Suggested by doughboycafe and Featured by neurotype )
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That last line is brilliance. Fantastic work and wording all around! :)
Reply
:iconmorning-star-42:
Morning-Star-42 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
“Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it but we just don’t listen?”

Relevant for everyone, always.
Reply
:iconcpt-cupcake-art:
CPT-CUPCAKE-art Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   Traditional Artist
This is a beautifully written piece that really makes me think twice about Hiroshima
My favorite line: “Does nobody think that maybe, when a tree falls in the forest,
we’re all around to hear it but we just don’t listen?” 
Keep writing :)
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Mmmmmm I love the concept - and the flow is very, very lovely. And YES the last lines fit so very well!
Reply
:iconzazzine:
Zazzine Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, last sentence makes sense.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   General Artist
I'm glad, thank you. :)
Reply
:icon5ninjacat:
5NinjaCat Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
A very well-deserved DD! This will be going into my favorites.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:icon5ninjacat:
5NinjaCat Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
You're welcome!
Reply
:icontales-of-tao:
Tales-of-Tao Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student General Artist
I just kept picturing the main character from Grave of the Fireflies. :iconcryforeverplz:

This really is completely stunning, in the saddest way. Well done; you deserved that DD. :hug:
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icontales-of-tao:
Tales-of-Tao Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student General Artist
:nod:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Poignant, sad and yet beautiful. Congrats on the DD. There are so much history we should all remember, so we don't repeat them. :heart:
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much.<3
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome!
Reply
:iconpichulover20:
Pichulover20 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Wow. That's powerful...
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you<3
Reply
:iconch3karma:
CH3Karma Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist

I don't know why, but as I read allowed my eyes filled with sound.  I had touched something lost to others.

I know not why, nor how, but feel smothered in a cloud of something foreign.  It's ok though, maybe I've gained sight to something taken away from me.  The light was orange like, but the glow tried to hide it, and the color of curiosity rises...

Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
I appreciate you sharing your experience. Thank you. 
Reply
:iconch3karma:
CH3Karma Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
sorry if it was a bit off putting....sometimes I write what I feel without thinking about how others will see it....but maybe that's just honesty.  Im glad you appreciate it.
Reply
:iconsarcastic-assassin:
sarcastic-Assassin Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   Photographer
The title enticed me to read, the words drew me in, and the imagery won me over. Very nice piece, thank you for sharing.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
And thank you for reading. :)
Reply
:iconsanaa-h:
sanaa-h Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
There is a powerful message in this poem that everyone needs to be aware of. :clap: Congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconegg-leg:
egg-leg Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
Incredible work! :wow: Congrats on the well-deserved Daily Deviation!
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:iconsteph0804:
steph0804 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
My god this is amazing...
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much<3
Reply
:icong-a-animefan4:
G-A-AnimeFan4 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this was absolutely amazing
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!<3
Reply
:icong-a-animefan4:
G-A-AnimeFan4 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconstrongbutgentle:
StrongButGentle Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thanks so much :3
Reply
:iconstrongbutgentle:
StrongButGentle Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome :D
Reply
:iconwatsisface:
watsisface Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That last line, combined with the rest of that haunting poem, made me shiver. 
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
I'm glad it had effect on you. Thank you!
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Phenomenal piece!! And I love the ending; I've never thought of it that way before.

 

I remember reading about Hiroshima in school back in the mid-80s. Although I cannot grasp the enormity of it as though who were there can, I have a healthy respect for events such as this.

 

Congrats on a well-earned DD!! :clap:

Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! I was very surprised.
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! :heart:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Agreed that it's a little prosaic at the moment, but I think there's an easy fix (relatively speaking): eliminate some filler words and descriptors. But the imagery is absolutely poetic.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
thanks for the feedback. :3
Reply
:iconkyanitearcher:
KyaniteArcher Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Things that occurred in the past are really hard for people in the present to understand. Your poem really expressed that.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icondragonbats:
dragonbats Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
This is amazing. Even though it's very short.
Really, we sometimes don't care about terrible tragedies.
Reply
:iconbittersweetobsession:
BittersweetObsession Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   General Artist
I think so too.
Thank you so much!
Reply
:icondragonbats:
dragonbats Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
You are welcome.
Reply
:icongoober-chunk:
goober-chunk Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student General Artist
after watching a movie like grave of the fireflies, I didn't feel like I truly understood the tragedy. And I then realized I couldn't and probably never will. Your character reminded me of that.  
Reply
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