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Submitted on
September 29, 2012
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observing the romanticism
of hooded cemetery kids,
smoking cigarettes pretending
they are not dead.

you were always so sure
about my uncertainty,
you watched
all my pick up lines
drop things.

we built the heat
of the evening from the solidity
of starlight,

that two teens at the park
at midnight
is the stuff of teen novels
(cliches dim on
our leaf-gold horizon)

your eyes darted
from the gray expanse
of the churchyard & wandered
in thoughtful

i wanted to ask you
if i could follow. shove
the words aside &
remember that i came here alone.

i remember our innocence
in the static b e t w e e n
stars, think
about how youth without you is th-
awing out the lines in my whittled-out eyes.

look to the hooded
cemetery kids,

wonder what we'd have been like
if we grew up as nothings,
like them. teenage
nothings with chiseled
marble in our
voices, carved
out of our parents' adulterated
lies and the excitement of alcohol.

i settle for a star.
it's almost as luminous
as the afterglow of us,
almost as eerie as the cookie cutter continent
we pledged allegiance to
just because we were raised that way.

i wanna know
what it's like to break the rules,
to be embodied by rebellion and (t)reason.
voice trembles,

asks the hooded
cemetery kids

glances aside, grins
with every intention to show me.
limbs contract in protest &
leaves crunch beneath
two bodies.

wakes up with hand
between legs beneath
a tearless sky. catch
sight of a star,

wonder what that star would have been like
if it had been a planet
with technicolor
comets in its orbit.

instead i wander from the leaf-strewn churchyard,
walk in the direction of you,
and think
maybe it's better for stars
to stay as they are.

Edit-- February 23rd, 2013: I wish I could say something that sounds more appreciative than "thank you", but please know that embedded in those words is an unspeakable gratitude. I adore you all.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-02-23
The suggester praises, clever wordplay and formatting compliment clear yet dizzying images sprinkled with the intangible essence of searching. starspun is by ~BittersweetObsession ( Suggested by LadyofGaerdon and Featured by Nichrysalis )
"wonder what that star would have been like
if it had been a planet
with technicolor
comets in its orbit."

beautiful :heart:
thank you<3
FAIRYTAIL1O1 Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
*speechlessness* wow so good wait no i take that back it's great. u have a great way with words! (*O*)
thank you, lovely!<3
HiddenShadowSpirit Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. Speechless.
This is so kind! I appreciate your comments so much, dearie, you are so sweet<33 Thank you!
HiddenShadowSpirit Apr 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
Adonael Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like the way you double reason with treason and the soft, gentle way this poem delivers its story. It's like a microscopic lens, zooming down to the finest details, each and every cell. That might sound like artistic bullshit, but that's how I saw the images as I read it.

Overall, thank you for reminding me that 'me' is enough. I have some work I have to do now.
this piece creates a mood that I can't quite put a finger on, something of longing, something of nostalgia, something as cool as the admiration of hooded cemetery kids.

it left me wanting to know more about this relationship that has seemingly passed. instead i wander, walk in the direction of this poem.
I just want to let you know I linked you in my latest work, Frozen Starlight, which was inspired by a line in in this poem. Again, great work!
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